At the first mentioning of the word conflict it is quite likely that it would represent a negative or unproductive interaction. Something to be avoided or reduced as much as possible. Conflict has a negative connotation. Generally it is not something that people look forward to or are willing to approach. The probable reason why is because most people do not experience constructive communications during conflict and, in my opinion, the most important stage of these types of communications, the repair or revisit simply does not happen.
Revisiting an Upset
Why do we not revisit and upset or conflict. This may be due to the unsatisfactory ending of the conflict and then not wanting to open it up again without having a new skill set. Without some new learning the leftover unwanted feeling, such as; not being heard, fear of rejection, hurt etc., most likely will be experienced again. Hence, “I don’t want to open up that can of worms and feel like I did” makes sense.