Conflict is a reality that is going to happen when interacting with others. Conflict can be defined as an upset, a disagreement, an argument, or just opposing views. However, when assumptions and judgments are made defensiveness usually follows resulting in some form of harm to our partner. Quite often this harm does not get acknowledged nor understood and there is little or no repair of the feelings.
These feelings tend to linger and can accumulate internally so when another upset happens the individuals reaction can be an over-reaction to that particular incident. This may be confusing to the person on the receiving end. They simple don’t understand the intensity of the reaction and may feel unfairly or unjustly treated. Because of this belief, which is may have some validity, what I call ammunition, the injured party now has the right to fire back. Now you have an escalating back and forth interaction to support the injured egos. This is unproductive conflict with little learning about ourselves or our partner. We are now too emotionally charged to see what is happening with ourselves and take responsibility.